Regarding Donald Trumps Nomination to the Presidency....

I’m not sure where to begin. I woke up on Wednesday morning to the news that Donald J. Trump is the President elect of the United States of America. Upon reading the news on my phone I felt nauseous and dizzy. I felt completely and utterly devastated. I have stayed silent on social media until now because I wanted to be sure that when I was ready to speak my peace, that I would be speaking from a centered, thoughtful, loving place. I am going to try now to do my very best to share my experience without belittling the position of those who support him.

I will start by saying that on Wednesday morning I was having a hard time functioning. My husband, trying to be supportive, innocently said to me “this does not change anything with our family. We have to keep moving.” My response to this statement was that the fact that our life is not affected by this nomination shows our privilege. A privilege that my gay, transgender, black, Muslim, Hispanic and “other” friends do not have the luxury of hiding behind for the next four years.

To my family and friends who voted for Trump, I congratulate you on this victory, and I want to be clear that this post is not intended to bash or shame you. My intention here is to share my experience in hopes to give you perspective and understanding, and to open myself to you so that you may do the same for me.

First, I want to be clear that this devastating feeling has nothing to do with the fact that a Republican won the election. This is nothing to do with the fact that we will have to wait even longer for our first woman president. This has nothing to do with Republicans leading the House and the Senate. Please allow me to illustrate this for you. When George W. Bush was president, I was politically at odds with him, but I respected him. I respect him. When George W. Bush was elected president I was a freshman in high school and just starting to really solidify my political beliefs. I remember there being a time where I would always have really negative, awful things to say about Bush. And then I realized that my complaining and gossiping was only hurting me. I also realized that this man that I was complaining about was the President of the United States. That was the moment I realized I could disagree with someone politically but still respect them as a person and respect the office they hold. I made a promise to myself as a 15 year old girl that I would always respect the President of the United States, even if I did not agree with them. I spent the rest of George Bush’s presidency respecting him.

When he ran for re-election in 2004 I campaigned for John Kerry (I wasn’t 18 yet). When my candidate lost, I felt briefly disappointed, and then I went back to respecting my president and leading my best life. In 2008 when Obama ran against John McCain, when I reflected on how I would feel if John McCain won, it was the same feeling from 2004. If Obama lost I would have been disappointed for a short period of time, but I would have gotten back to work leading my best life and respecting my president. I carried the same feelings in 2012 during the Obama/Romney election.

This is different.

For the first time in my life, I cannot keep this promise to myself.

I cannot respect a man that so casually describes sexual assault, and then waters it down as “locker room talk.”

I cannot respect a man who is openly supported by the KKK, but will not denounce their support. Or a man who thinks that “inner city” and “black” are synonymous terms.

I cannot respect a man who drools racist rhetoric about all people of Muslim faith.

I cannot respect a man who flashes around a gay pride flag as a prop, while choosing a Vice President who supports conversion therapy and who has passed legislation in his home state allowing business owners to refuse service to people they perceive to be gay. The LGBT community is not a prop to be used to gain votes. They are human beings.

I cannot respect a man who has openly mocked a person with disabilities. My brother is handicapped and I have witnessed firsthand the cruelty of intolerance and ignorance. It’s devastating, and unacceptable.

Trust me when I say I want to respect him. Please believe me when I say I pray that he ran a reckless campaign and that his presidency will be different, that his presidency will be, as he says “for all the people.”

The problem is; I am deeply connected with the people he is hurting.

I have a friend who couldn’t marry her soulmate until her government gave her permission to. That friend fought for her right to marry the love of her life. And the two of them have a beautiful marriage and a precious baby girl. I care so deeply for them, and I am afraid for them.

I have two handsome, stunning nephews who are young black men. It hurts how much I love those boys. And I am afraid for them.

I have coworkers who are amazing, wonderful people who happen to belong to the Muslim faith. Their culture is rich and vibrant and I am grateful every day that I get to experience it through them. I am afraid for them.

I have friends who have had to go through the deeply painful process of transitioning their gender identity so they could feel at home in their own skin. I am afraid for them.

I have heard people say in the past 48 hours, “nothing is changing, you still have to raise your own kids the best you can and teach them wrong from right.” Here is my problem with that. I can filter the music my kids listen to. I can filter the movies they watch. I can filter their internet exposure. I cannot filter their president. 

Again, this is not a matter of having differing opinions. I never felt like I needed to filter my kids from George Bush or John McCain or Mitt Romney. But if I am going to teach my children right from wrong I have to filter our President. That is heartbreaking for me.

If you are a Trump supporter, I thank you for reading this far, and I apologize if I have fallen short on my initial promise to you. This is my experience with Donald Trump, now I would like to talk about my experience with you.

I realize that the people who burned down a black church and vandalized the building with Trumps name are in the minority. I pray that the acts of violence we have seen in the last 48 hours in the name of Trump are also the minority of his supporters. Here is what I need from you. If you do not agree with what Donald Trump has said about women, or black people, or Muslim people, or Hispanic people, or disabled people or people of the LGBT community; I need you to denounce those things. I need you to be clear that you voted for a man that you believed could rely on his career as a business man to turn our economy around. I need to know that you value diversity and equality, and that you will not stand for bulling and violence.

As for my part, I want to tell you that I see you. You have some deep needs that I am guessing were not met during Obama’s presidency. I’m guessing it was pretty painful for you to go so long without feeling heard. I’m guessing that pain was so deep, you were willing to look past the character deficiencies of Donald Trump. I’m guessing you are feeling some fear about our political system, and about the threat of terror, and you were casting a vote that you believed would keep your family safe. I see you. I honor your struggle and I want to know more. In the words of Glenn Beck, “we have got to find our way to each other.” We have to start listening to one another. I am listening to you now. I’m not saying it will be easy, but it’s necessary and I want to show up and be seen and I want you to show up and be seen and will we navigate the turbulent waters together. It will be painful. There will be tears shed, but we have to be willing to show up and listen. I am listening to you now.

To my friends that have been ostracized by this campaign: I see you. You are valuable. You are worthwhile. You are a blessing. I will stand with you, always. I will do better to speak up when I see injustice. I will do better to be an ally. And I will take more important steps in getting involved in my community and supporting the causes that support you. I will do better and I will be better for you. Thank you for all of the ways that you have made my life richer by being unique and authentic and powerful and amazing.

God Bless America